Being a newlywed is awesome. Life is wonderful. We have our hiccups, but I wake up every morning to a man who chooses to be with me and loves me for who I am and I cherish that. One thing that is hard about being a newlywed is the outside coming in. I really hate it when people ask me how married life is and I respond in a joyful manner. Then shortly after my statement I get the usual reply, “Just wait 5 more years!”
As a newlywed that is discouraging. I understand it is meant to be a jabbing joke, but the joke is old. Sometimes I really want to mouth off and say, “Well I am sorry that your marriage sucks” and walk off before they can explain themselves. Since I am nice and let them vent, or whatever they want to call it, I thought I would vent back through my blog.
There comes a point in time when things do tend to become stagnant in a marriage and in life. But I believe that I have a choice in my life to allow my marriage to become stagnant or do something about it. I will be honest, when Nate and I were first married we spent a lot of time in our bed. About 3 months into our marriage things started to slow down. ONLY 3 MONTHS! I started to point this out to my new hubby, but before I did I thought, “Why say something, just change it.” So I made a move. He was excited and I felt better because I refused to sit back and watch my marriage unravel and say, “Oh look it’s unraveling.” Pointing out the obvious doesn’t stop the obvious from happening. You have to take action.
So back to my little tangent about “Just wait…” I understand that the people telling me that phrase may be older and wiser than me, but I also feel they may have blinders on. They might be used to seeing the unraveled edges of their marriage that they may have given up. If you are at that point, I am sorry. If you haven’t given up but just don’t know where to start, I highly recommend watching the movie “Fireproof”. This movie is about a couple that has lost their way and one is about to give up. In the movie the husband, through his parents help, finds a way to redeem himself and together the husband and wife figure out how to save their marriage.
No one has ever said marriage is easy and don’t think I am fooled and believe I won’t have my fair share of frustration. But I choose to sew my frayed edges, by devoting time to my husband and our marriage. We haven’t even been married 3 years yet but have been to a marriage retreat, study marriage books together, and talk about how we plan to make our marriage last 75 years plus. After you have seen the movie “Fireproof” find a retreat in your area and devote time to each other.
There is one problem with retreats. Many people believe that if you are attending any type of marriage retreat, seminar, or whatever else falls under this category, that you are having issues. The truth about marriage retreats is this is just a get away where you learn more about each other. You don’t have to have an issue with your marriage to attend and if you do have an issue, it is not a counseling session where you talk about your feelings to a stranger. In fact, the only person you talk to is your spouse if you choose to (which I hope you do).
Posted by: Amanda
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